This year, my husband and I are celebrating our 50th. Our Golden Wedding anniversary!
Our 10-year-old grandson, quite bemused and astonished, recently asked his mom: “How can a couple be married for FIFTY years?!!” I’m sure it sounds like an eternity to a young boy.
This was how our daughter responded:
“I answered him with a story of how his Lolo and Lola almost separated many, many years ago…but when Lola accepted Christ in her heart, her life changed. Lolo saw the change in her life; he got curious and went to Bible study, too. Then he gave his life to Christ, too.
And since then, they chose to stay together, and God has been blessing them with many joyful years together.
Noah and I slept with a smile on our faces. Noah just learned about a foundational truth through his Lolo and Lola’s lives.
We thank God for the wise, clear, and concise answer that our daughter gave our grandson. May it serve as a firm foundation for his future convictions about marriage.
Quite by chance, we’ve been celebrating our 50th in a series of small celebrations, over the last eight months. We’ve had four hotel staycations and out-of-town trips since January, instead of a one-time, big-time celebration. Turns out, this is such a cool way to celebrate one’s 50th!!! The long-haul way. With prolonged delight. And quite stress-free because our trips are for family only.
This is understandable, considering that we’re a family of what I call “functioning introverts.” We attend socials only if we have no choice – like work-related events, church activities, the parties of those who are close to us, or celebrations where we are given a major role so we cannot be absent.
Hence, our children knew – with extreme relief – that throwing a party to mark our 50th was simply out of the question. One daughter said that just the thought of doing a church wedding and reception was already giving her a tension headache!
However, we know that there are people who are wonderful at organizing events. They’re probably extreme extroverts. It energizes them to throw parties or have a big bash on their anniversaries or birthdays. Such a brave, generous thing to do! And we’ve attended quite a few which were such a delight to be part of. So, as they say, “diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks!”
Getting our act together for our out-of-town trips (with nine adults and seven kids) could’ve been such a gargantuan, hair-pulling, nail-biting challenge. Because we had to match work schedules with school schedules, with hotel bookings, plus circumnavigate things when suddenly one or three of our grandkids got sick! But wonder of wonders, with God’s help, we always arrived at a schedule that worked.
Resilience is key. Trust in the Lord is required. Prayers are pivotal.
We didn’t want to scrimp – so we treated ourselves to lovely accommodations and beautiful restaurants (with the help and generosity of some precious friends). We had food that not only photographed elegantly but also tasted as good – or even better – than they looked!!! We ate to our hearts’ content. We savored each place we went to.
We had cocktails most nights – back in the hotel or the townhouses we rented. We chatted till midnight, yet some of us still managed to wake up at 6am to play golf.
Some went for a swim, or ate a very late breakfast. Went to the gym or had a “two sisters spa massage.”the kids had to do their mini golf, and have their playroom time. Each of us relaxed the way we wanted to – there were no rigid schedules or sightseeing lists to adhere to. But we converged for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sometimes, even for merienda!
We just chilled… and I have to say this: our children and grandkids’ company was seamless. We just enjoyed each other thoroughly. No tensions, no sulking, no petty annoyances, no arguments or negativity. All our energy went to having fun!
When I look back on the past 50 years, I’m thinking – how awesome it would have been if our 50 years of marriage were just as chill and enjoyable as our four recent family vacations – with two more this October and December, God-willing.
But then again, come to think of it, marriage can, indeed, be compared to the way our family planned, implemented, and enjoyed our vacations! Marriage is only as enjoyable as you make it. It’s only as resilient and exciting as you make it. It’s only as creative, considerate, and thoughtful as you make it. Just like going on a vacation.
A happy marriage is NOT based on one’s expectations being met, but on positive inputs one consistently makes, on a daily basis.
Joy and happiness in marriage never happen by accident. They require wisdom, careful planning and implementation. Of course you can also be successfully spontaneous at times – but most of the time, just like everything that becomes a whopping success: a happy marriage is the result of hard work, integrity, tenacity and a healthy sense of humor!
Most importantly, a strong, happy marriage needs Jesus Christ to be at the center of it all.
Because He’s the One Who ultimately balances everything – and makes it a fulfilling, dependable, happy relationship.
