In the Philippines, where we proudly celebrate the world’s longest Christmas season, the pressure to be merry can be a struggle for many.
While we may not experience the seasonal changes and reduced sunlight that trigger Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) in regions farther from the equator, mental health professionals now recognize a unique form of holiday blues that affects Filipinos during the Christmas season, often stemming from cultural and social pressure.
For many Filipinos, the symptoms appear different from the traditional SAD seen in cold climates. Here, local mental health professionals report seeing different patterns:
– Heightened anxiety about social gatherings and family obligations
– Feelings of inadequacy triggered by financial pressures during the gift-giving season
– Intense loneliness despite (or often, because of) the festive atmosphere
– Exhaustion from maintaining a cheerful facade through months of celebration
– Unusual withdrawal from family gatherings
– Changes in sleeping or eating patterns
– Frequent headaches or unexplained physical complaints
Joy to the world?
What causes SAD? The extended holiday season, starting as early as September, can create a marathon of emotional expectations that leaves many feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.
“There’s an added layer of guilt when you’re feeling down during Christmas in the Philippines,” explains Dr. Maria Teresa Gustilo-Villasor, a clinical psychologist. “Our culture places such emphasis on celebration and family togetherness that those who can’t match this expected joy often feel even more isolated.”
Emotions can feel particularly strong for those separated from family, whether due to work, distance, or personal circumstances. And it can be even more intense for those who have recently suffered losses– financial woes, breakups, or deaths in the family. This contrast between the expected Christmas joy and their inner emotional state often leads to what mental health professionals call “holiday-induced depression.”
The Filipino value of “pakikisama” (social harmony) can make it even harder for people, making them feel even worse. “Many of my patients feel they’re letting their families down by not being happy during Christmas,” shares Dr. Anna Santos, a psychiatrist specializing in mood disorders. “This cultural pressure to maintain a positive appearance can prevent people from seeking help when they need it most.”
When someone you care for has SAD
In our culture, where bonds run deep and the holiday celebrations stretch for months, it becomes more important to recognize the signs and show support for those friends and loved ones experiencing holiday depression. This, of course, requires both sensitivity and understanding.
Even before the first Jose Mari Chan Christmas song plays in the malls, it’s important to observe and see if they’re struggling. Watch out for:
-Unusual withdrawal from family gatherings
-Loss of interest in previously enjoyed holiday activities
– Changes in sleeping or eating patterns
– Expressing feelings of guilt about not being “festive enough”
– Increased irritability during holiday preparations
– Frequent headaches or unexplained physical complaints
Creating a supportive environment
Adjusting family expectations to lighten undue pressure, and being willing to be flexible about certain traditions can certainly help. Make it clear that it’s okay to skip some holiday activities, and find ways to maintain traditions that feel less overwhelming, such as
breaking large family gatherings into smaller, more manageable groups, and providing quiet spaces where people can take a break.
The way we communicate is also important. Statements such as “dapat masaya ka” (you should be happy) or “Christmas na Christmas!” can feel very accusatory and heighten the stress.
Offering specific rather than general help can also ease the pressure that comes with SAD. “Gusto mo sabay tayo?” (Would you like to go together?) or “Sunduin kita?” can feel very reassuring.
For children and teens, keeping to a normal routine despite hectic holiday activities is important, as is creating safe spaces to express feelings without judgment and always acknowledging their validity.
Another group that may often feel these holiday blues more intensely are the older family members, especially those who have lost spouses and other family members, and those who live alone.
During this season, it may help to regularly keep them company, listen to their stories, and create opportunities for sharing memories and traditions. One of the easiest ways is to include them in the preparations without overwhelming them such as asking for recipes, decorating advice and other ways that make them feel useful without being overburdened.
Holiday self care
Setting realistic expectations for holiday celebrations and creating boundaries around social obligations go a long way towards maintaining our mental wellness in this hectic season. Healthy eating habits, regular exercise, and getting enough rest will help.
There will be times when additional help may be needed. In these cases, it helps to find
mental health professionals who understand Filipino family dynamics, and consider family therapy sessions to develop support strategies.
Getting through it together
Supporting loved ones through the holiday blues is a marathon, not a sprint. Just as the Filipino Christmas season extends for months, support should be consistent and long-term. Dr. Gustilo-Villasor emphasizes that experiencing holiday blues doesn’t make someone less Filipino or less faithful. “It’s about recognizing that our mental health needs don’t take a vacation during Christmas,” she explains. “In fact, sometimes they require even more attention during these emotionally charged times.”
One of the greatest gifts we can give our loved ones during the holiday season is understanding and acceptance. By combining traditional Filipino values with mental health awareness, families can create a truly supportive environment where everyone can experience the holiday season in their own way. After all, the real Filipino Christmas isn’t about being jolly and forced cheer, but about finding authentic ways to connect with and care for ourselves and others during this season of love.
