‘A person with a chip on his shoulder, with a negative attitude or pessimistic view of life, will obviously be miserable most of the time.’
YOU and I, and the eight billion people around the world, are social animals. Our two-legged and four-legged friends are also “social” creatures. Like us humans, these animals also value, long for, and enjoy companionship. The loners among them usually do not survive long. Most obviously, social life, a sense of belonging, a comfortable feeling of security in number, a natural mental sense of community, is essential to health, mental and otherwise.
That social nature starts the day we are born, in the arms of our mother, nurtured in the crib, and developed into a complete positive mental state through interactions with both our parents, siblings, grandparents, and friends. All this enables us to develop lasting relationships and a rewarding mental health, which affects and influences all other lives we touch. Human beings’ capacity to live a stable and happy life and our survival as a species heavily depend on our culture, education, social skills, attitude, and social behavior.
The history of man on earth shows that cavemen started forming small groups, literally for security and for survival against the harsh and unforgiving environment, and vicious attacks from animals preying on them. That dependency on each other is still very evident even today, in this modern, technologically advanced society of ours. Indeed, no man is an island, and a loner is, comparatively, at a much graver risk of ill-health and attrition.
A sense of belonging keeps us, humans, connected with our fellowmen, within our own circle, our community, conferring upon our being the reward of acceptance, a gratifying inner satisfaction that we are “in,” and “one of them,” akin to being a member of a club or a fraternity/sorority or a party. This sense of belonging is fundamental for our emotional and physical well-being, a powerful prescription that effectively enables each of us to cope with the sometimes unfriendly and harsh environment and social order.
Attitude
Our social skills, which are vital to our acceptance as a member of a group or community, are developed or impeded by our attitude, which, like social prowess, also significantly impacts our life and our health. Both are prerequisites to health, happiness, and inner peace in each of us human beings. A good attitude compliments and boosts our social skills and acceptability to “belong.”
Here are some quotes of wisdom I have come across which are inspiring philosophical parachutes in life for those who, like many of us, sometimes find themselves falling towards the pit of discouragement and despair.
Anthony J. D’Angelo, in The College Blue Book, said “Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.” To quote Oscar Wilde, “If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want.”
Voltaire expressed it beautifully when he stated, “Life is like a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.” An ancient Persian saying puts a great perspective on our daily aches and pains in life, “I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.” And as some of us may curse some bad days we encounter and wish they never came. Cavett Robert offers these poignant words: “If you don’t think every day is a good day, just try missing one.”
Indeed, every day is a good day, although others are better, and others not as good. But each day is a gift. Not waking up to another day is a deadly waste, but not appreciating another day as we open our eyes each morning in our journey through life is a tragedy.
How each of us greets the day depends greatly on our attitude. Indeed, attitude impacts our health, our life, and our everyday happiness and success. A person with a chip on his shoulder, with a negative attitude or pessimistic view of life, will obviously be miserable most of the time. And the opposite is true, as Annette Goodheart brilliantly points out: “Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life.”
Happiness is basically an attitude. Gaining inner peace is an attitude. We have that God-given power to feel what we want to feel. And we can even psyche ourselves.
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Philip S. Chua, MD, FACS, FPCS, a Cardiac Surgeon Emeritus based in Northwest Indiana and Las Vegas, Nevada, is an international medical lecturer/author, Health Advocate, newspaper columnist, and Chairman of the Filipino United Network-USA, a 501(c)3 humanitarian foundation in the United States. He was a decorated recipient of the Indiana Sagamore of the Wabash Award in 1995. Other Sagamore past awardees include President Harry Truman, President George HW Bush, Muhammad Ali, Astronaut Gus Grissom (Wikipedia). Websites: FUN8888.com, Today.SPSAtoday.com, and philipSchua.com Email: scalpelpen@gmail.com
