‘But I suppose this has to be taken one step at a time. As my officemate Karl so politely put it: has there been anybody else who has done this at your age?’
SO, January 30 came and went and the world didn’t collapse on me. As expected, for many of those who have known me for years my “revelation” was a non-event. The White House did not issue a statement and the UN General Assembly met without passing a resolution. I had a “normal” day, if going to the Philippine General Hospital to consult with a doctor-friend is considered “normal.”
This doctor even asked me “dalhin mo ‘yung Rolex mo,” referring to the wristwatch that I mentioned in my column last Monday. Ha-ha I didn’t wear it; instead, I wore one that I rarely wear except on special occasions.
And Monday was special.
Not only was it my mom’s birth anniversary; it was special because of the messages I received in response to my “big reveal” piece. Private messages as well as reactions on my FB page made me feel so good about what I did, validating my gut feel. I have to admit many comments moved me to tears, but each and every one was touching.
One comment I deeply valued came from a statesman-politician I really admire. Said he: “A really well written explanation of a personally difficult situation. I only hope that your readers now completely understand you as a person. I, and all of your real friends, welcome your coming out as 60, and as smart and happy.”
Another came from a mother: “Hi JB, I read your column. That is brave and heart-warming piece. What a beautiful tribute too to your mom who stood with you. I have a child who is part of the LGBT. T siya. Our generation still thinks in binary terms. It is good that our children are no longer like that. They love period. As we also should. I am happy for you too!!!”
Another had this to say (edited to protect their privacy): “Good morning, JB! I just read your article and was teary eyed not even midway. I identify with your Mom. Just like her, “mahal ko kung sinong mahal ng anak ko.” And just like her, I have a son who told me he is LGBTQ. This was 6 years ago. I told him it’s ok, and we love him no matter what. We told him about our gay friends who excel in whatever field they choose. We told him to work harder. We told him to bulk up to discourage bullies. I was worried he won’t experience finding “true love.” But I’m mistaken. He’s now a 4th year student. He has a 5-year meaningful relationship with a partner. At matangkad, guapo, matalino pa! Just like him, also an ambitious young man…. And I can truly say the family is proud of him.”
From a classmate from grade school all the way to college: “I have always admired, respected and loved you since our ‘revolutionary days’ when you ‘plotted’ the overthrow of Amifaith in order to install VP who was absent during the election due to chicken pox … I have so many fond memories of you and me with our respective Moms and our batchmates, blockmates, org mates and all our common friends. You mentioned in your post you consider yourself a B in LGBTQ+ but to me you are simply JB, my kumpare, my confidante and dearest friend. Take care of yourself. Labyu”
But most moving was a message sent by a UP classmate to our college chat group, a father who told me “I’m the dad you are referring to.” He said: “JB, that’s a very beautiful piece…
I’m the dad you are referring to in your article. Being a former frat man made my position with my son much more difficult, but with prayers, my wife and I had to accept it. The peace that I felt when I finally embraced my son was enormous. We became closer. I am now very proud of him because at an early stage he came out…With your permission, I will forward your article to our family group chat. See you soon, classmate.”
Jeesas, I never expected to touch people the way I did but now I am happy. As in glad. As in satisfied and fulfilled.
But the thought that this issue remains one that people struggle with in the year 2023 is also a reality that is like cold water on my face. That I am described as “brave” or congratulated for my “courage” tells me that much still has to be done for those struggling and afraid.
But I suppose this has to be taken one step at a time. As my officemate Karl so politely put it: has there been anybody else who has done this at your age? (Emphasis on the last three words!).
I guess not, Karl. But hopefully there’s a crack now in what used to be a hermetically sealed closet door.
