‘Fatherhood — a great escape from the political circus that has come to town!’
LAST Saturday, I became a father of a third son. Like my father before me, I now have to deal with three sons, all with different personalities. Unlike my father before me I am better at spacing — while my father’s second and third sons were only separated by 11 months and 24 days, my second and third are separated by five years.
This hasn’t detracted from jealousy fits from the second — now middle — son, who is still learning to adjust to the presence of a new member of the family.
It hasn’t been easy, these last three days, the first night especially, but things are getting better. The first night was all about adjustments — the new baby was in a strange environment and feeling all alone and every hour on the hour would be awake and crying. I remember going to bed at 9:30 p.m. only to wake up by 10:30 (the baby had moved its bowels); 11:45 (it was just lonely, I guess); 2:30 a.m. (it had peed) and 4:30 a.m. (there was poop that I had to clean up).
Having to sleep and wake up and sleep and wake up was made tougher because the now-middle-child was acting up and showing irritation, anger even, at the attention being given to the new arrival. Of course, the youngest didn’t even mind, maybe didn’t even notice how worked up the older one was.
The eldest was just cool as a cucumber. Deadma is how some would describe his attitude.
The second 24 hours was much better. Second son was still showing some resentment (especially when I wasn’t looking), but it was dialed down from the day before. Eldest remained uninterested, while the new arrival was showing his ability to poop and pee on schedule and without soiling his sleep area. I decided to get him a small mattress from SM Aura but he didn’t always want to sleep on it. As the second night approached he started acting up so I took off the shirt I was wearing and put it next to him. It seemed to work. I was in bed by 10:30 p.m. and was surprised to wake up at 5:30 a.m. to see the little baby fast asleep. He has slept through the whole night.
The third day was even better because middle child was now less aggressive and was spending more time looking at the youngest without acting angrily. Of course, I noticed how he would look up to me to see if I were watching his every move. Eldest remained generally uninterested but I carried him once to peer down on the youngest and eldest, even at 13 years of age, seemed totally bewildered as to what that little thing sleeping there was.
I chose to be a father for the fourth time in my life — and for the third time to a son — because I needed a “change of environment.” Social media has become toxic and I expect it to become even more so now that most candidates have filed their papers. Having to dote on a new baby provides you a focus that screens out everything else.
Many people have their reasons.
A new baby also is used by some as an antidote to a broken heart — though some people I know mistakenly think a new baby can save a relationship already beyond saving.
Most important, I chose to be a father to a third son at this time because I felt the time was right: the spacing was right, the environment needed an upper and I was still “young” enough to go through the demands of fatherhood.
So now, my 13-year-old and my 5-year-old have a brother born last July 25. I don’t know where their mothers are now and don’t even know their names, but I hope they know that their sons are in good hands, will be taken cared off well and loved as they deserve to be loved.
Never mind if the eldest is Hayden the Shih Tzu, the middle Apollo the Maltese, and the newcomer Goya the dark brown Shih Tzu. I am sure we will be a big happy family… as soon as Apollo gets over his middle child antics!
Yes, three sons — who will never need tuition, will never ask for money, will never use my car without my knowing, will never leave the house with the barkada and stay out late at night, or will never take drugs.
Oh — and if someone gets pregnant, we can always make money off the babies!
Fatherhood — a great escape from the political circus that has come to town!
