Burning bridges, cutting ties – these are critical decisions we need to make at crucial times in our lives. They are moves that can preserve our sanity. Restore our faith in humankind.
Rescue us from years of being abused or exploited. Save whatever shred of dignity we have left. Preserve our talents and resources for good use. And, in general, stop the rot and decay before it infects more parts of our body, family, or community.
We are created for relationships, yes. In fact, our first and foremost relationship is supposed to be a relationship with Jesus Christ. If we don’t have this as the foundation of all our relationships then we’re in deep trouble – or, at the very least, we are depriving ourselves of the best relationships which God designed us to have. What a pity to go through life so shortchanged.
That’s why it’s in our best interest to periodically evaluate the investments – and the ROI, the returns – we make on our relationships. It’s not a cold-blooded transactional thing.
Rather, it’s a smart way of determining if we’re investing ourselves in relationships that are worth it. Or not.
For instance, if you have friends who treat you like a second class citizen, an afterthought, just a convenient person to have around because they need an extra car or your membership card, it’s time to burn your bridges.
If you’re called only when there’s a problem to solve, a dirty job to do, a confrontation that must be made but no one else wants to do it, be a harbinger of bad news, etc. – and they know you won’t say no – it’s time to burn your bridges.
If you’re the reliable scapegoat who’s often willing to take the flak or habitually apologize to people for your friend’s sake – it’s time to burn your bridges.
If you’re the person who’s invited because you have friends in high places, or they need your car or your membership card, or you often foot the bill – it’s time to burn those bridges.
If you’re the one who has these brilliant ideas and can implement them successfully, yet your friend always manages to take the credit, or intimidates you into giving the credit to him – cut those ties immediately.
If you’re picking up your friends’ twisted way of thinking, their manipulative tactics, their user mentality, their hypocrisy and pretentiousness, and “I have a perfect life” scam – it’s high time you burned your bridges.
If your friend is teaching you to spend more than you can afford, max out your credit cards, drown in debt but still spend like you have money to throw away – burn those bridges fast before creditors start running after you.
If your friends are making you stiff-necked, arrogant, self-righteous, judgmental and critical… if they’re making you think that your little group is superior to everyone else… if your close friends have an Aryan complex – it’s time to cut ties.
If you’re the butt of jokes, your barkada’s court jester, the one who has to pander and grovel and make self-deprecating comments about yourself just to be accepted – it’s time to burn your bridges.
If you’re surrounded by friends who flatter you and massage your ego all the time, laugh at all your jokes, cater to your whims, almost always agree with you and hardly tell you if you’re doing something wrong… it’s time to burn your bridges.
The Bible warns us – “Bad company corrupts good morals.” This means you can start off a really good person – but still end up a bad one because it’s much easier to be dragged down than be pulled up.
Also, the Bible tells us, “Be innocent as doves but shrewd as snakes.” Which means, never do something to intentionally harm others (be innocent as doves) – but don’t be a pushover either just because you’re so good and sweet and kind. This verse tells us – being a Christian doesn’t mean you let people walk all over you, treat you like a doormat.
Or fool you because you’re always supposed to think well of others.
In fact, “be shrewd as snakes” means “don’t be gullible.”
Don’t be stupid. Don’t believe smooth talkers. Don’t be fooled by people who appear perfect, faultless. Instead, see through people’s deceptions, manipulations, malicious intent, sinful strategies. Don’t be victimized by the traps and machinations of evil people.
We know that Jesus was never verbose. He had a propensity for saying things succinctly.
But for our own good, so that we truly absorb what Jesus tells us to do – we should process what He said carefully, methodically, in detail – to make sure that we really learn the lessons behind His short, concise commands.
If we don’t do this, then get ready for a life of misery and regret. That’s called learning the hard way.
It’s ultra-wise to remember that at the end of it all – the good guys win. Spectacularly!
The bad ones are destined to lose – in endless suffering.
We get to choose the future we want for ourselves.
