Have you ever said or done something that you wish you never had?
Have you hopelessly regretted, and been painfully embarrassed, by something you said… or did, in public?
I’m sure most of us have. Because most of us lose it at some point. We are all flawed.
Imperfect.
The question is, what made us “lose it”? What made us have a meltdown in front of people? Worse yet, in front of people who matter?
We’ve seen this happen maybe quite a number of times in our lives.
For example, we’ve seen public figures, celebrities, politicians, etc. rant shamelessly, using offensive language – on national TV. And there goes everything – all that posturing and pretending to be nice, quickly shattered by just one sordid sentence, said with such shocking vulgarity.
We’ve seen bosses who lose it while scolding a subordinate, an “underling.” Just because they’re in authority, they think they have the right to unleash insults, verbally assault those under them. At the high price of losing their dignity.
We’ve seen siblings or relatives scream and curse at each other in front of lawyers and judges over an inheritance – sometimes so pitifully small, but apparently to some people, big enough to be ugly-scandalous about.
We’ve seen people who just have to win any argument. Who just have to have the last say. So their mouths become stinking cesspools.
We’ve seen religious people suddenly become verbally violent and ballistic. They scream like banshees, and use the Lord’s name in vain.
We’ve seen people who look so refined and genteel – until they suddenly crash and burn; spewing curses in gutter English or gangster Tagalog. Shouting like a thug who’s ugly-drunk, and mouths a death wish.
When we, ourselves, have meltdowns, we know the utter shame of having to face people the next day. The next meeting. The next reunion. The next conference. How we wish we never have to meet these people again – the witnesses to our despicable, uncouth behavior.
We know that after a meltdown, we have to live with the shame of a shattered reputation.
The gossip that’ll go around. There are things we won’t be able to live down. Because people won’t ever forget. We’ll be remembered as the person who “lost it.” And lost it badly.
The more image-conscious we are, the more devastated we will be by our own meltdowns.
The first thing we want to do is to sincerely apologize. By far, this is the most effective kind of damage control I’ve seen.
It means taking full responsibility. No excuses. No blaming anyone.
No using the Victim Card. And most of all, NO LYING, please. We’ll only dig a deeper hole for ourselves if we do that.
The next thing to do is to forgive ourselves, live with the shame – and learn from it. Learn from it.
Isolate the reason for the meltdown. That thing – whatever it was that was the reason for the meltdown – is the very thing that will destroy us, if we don’t put it under control.
Self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. It means that whatever kind of stress we’re under, we are protected from any embarrassing, destructive outbursts by exercising Self-Control.
This takes training. Forward planning. It means being afraid of displeasing God because we will have to answer to Him, sooner or later.
A meltdown’s embarrassing aftermath can be temporary. What’s permanent is the sincere apology, the tangible recompense, that comes after it.
