Once a year, there’s this great celebration called Mother’s Day. It can be one of the most touching, heartwarming experiences one can have as a mother, or as the grateful child of an amazing mom.
It’s a time to re-emphasize and re-celebrate our love for our moms.
A mom we often spend time with, shop with, swap stories with. A mom we love to bring to her happy place whenever her health or mood allows it. A mom who can be infuriating or irritating at times, but a mom we love in real life, not just in pictures.
A mom whose company we seek even if they might not recognize us anymore…
My husband and I took care of my mom, in our own home, for almost 40 years. We set up a comfortable, airconditioned room for her, with her own bathtub, toilet and bath. Her room was nearest the balcony where she could hear the birds chirp away every morning. She loved having breakfast on our balcony which has a splendid, panoramic view of Metro Manila. She liked reading Harry Potter books and her Bible.
In her last three years, my mom didn’t recognize us anymore. She’d walk past us, assisted by her caregivers. She didn’t even smile at us anymore. But we insisted that she eat with us, which she seemed to like. We wanted to be with her as often as we could.
When we celebrate our moms, we should celebrate them with a love that is REAL — not just a “photo-op love” that’s conveniently conjured on Mother’s Day.
Photo-op love is one of the most hypocritical, deceitful, shameless displays of “loving mom” — that’s done once a year.
This means taking her out only on Mother’s Day (or special occasions where moms have to be on display)…but abandoning her to the care of others for the rest of the year. Not even calling to check up on her. Just totally ignoring her — as if she didn’t exist. That’s one of the cruelest things I’ve ever seen.
When it’s Mother’s Day and a mother is on display — there’ll probably be a conspicuous supply of balloons, flowers, a table groaning with food and gifts… much like decorating a set on stage, for a play. How terribly apt.
There’ll be photos and videos of exaggerated hugs and smiles and kisses. But all of it will be just a show. A sham. A face-saving thing that’s curated to fool those who want to be fooled.
Yesterday, our children and grandchildren brought me out for a full-day celebration of Mother’s Day. It was a simple, stress-free, easy-peasy celebration. But it was non-stop fun!
We restaurant-hopped. We had slow and fast eating. We sampled each other’s food. We took photos. We swapped stories. We laughed and laughed in between. We leaned in close when there was “sensitive information” being discussed. We shared our highs and lows — updating each other so that we know what to pray for, for each other.
This is the way we normally spend a day together — whether we’re in Manila or on vacation somewhere.
Mother’s Day to us is a normal-special day. A day when I’m made to feel extra-special, but a day that’s just like any other day when our family spends time together! No hype. No pretense. No pretend-love.
Just simple, sincere, constant love that’s prone to laughter — yet so ready to make sacrifices whenever needed.
For us, this is the real way to celebrate Mother’s Day.
