Meltdowns are usually irredeemable.
It’s like throwing up and making a stinking mess on the floor (or wherever it is you splashed your vomit on).
Have you ever vomited in front of people? That must’ve been quite a mess. You cannot scoop up all that vomit and put it back into your mouth – without a speck of it left on the floor or a trace of stink left in the air. I’m sorry to be so graphic, but this is the mental picture I quickly access whenever I’m so tempted to “lose it.”
Meltdowns happen when one feels powerless or angry or scared. All three make the perfect trifecta for a meltdown.
A globally-respected Bible teacher once said that we get angry “when someone or something is blocking our goal.” The more important that goal is to us, the angrier we get. The more powerless and scared we feel, the angrier we get.
When people have meltdowns, they may lash out at everyone in general, or at some things and some people in particular. They may use gutter language, attack others verbally and physically, hurl insults, accusations and threats. They may even take their clothes off and do more scandalous things.
In general, a person having a meltdown will seek to disgrace or hurt others — but in the process, they end up disgracing and hurting themselves more. That’s the brutal tragedy of a meltdown.
Meltdowns can be as basic as a tantrum being thrown by a spoiled brat. The spoiled brat wants something, cannot get it, so s/he throws a tantrum to manipulate the parents or those in authority.
One of our daughters — an adorable four-year-old then — was fond of throwing tantrums. Even if I was seriously annoyed with her, I’d talk to her calmly to tell her why she couldn’t have what she wanted. Then we’d leave her alone to literally cry her heart out — until she stopped, all by her lonesome.
I don’t know if that was the right parenting strategy, but that’s what worked with our daughter. Thank goodness she had her tantrums in private. It probably helped that she had no audience. No audience, less drama.
Then there are adult meltdowns. I’m realizing that they’re pretty much the same banana as a spoiled brat’s tantrums. Except that an adult should supposedly have more self-control, maturity, logical thinking, and survival savvy.
Having meltdowns for medical reasons is, of course, a totally different matter. They must be seen with compassion and understanding. Not with gloating or disdain.
Meltdowns can be prevented if we realize that, at the end of the day, we are never really in complete control of anything: people, circumstances, anyone’s health, the stock market, currency fluctuations, the climate, the weather.
However, if you’ve enjoyed “complete” power long enough, you may deceive yourself and miss this crucial point. Because being in power too long can fry one’s brain to a crisp.
The fact is, whether you’re a tyrant or a tricycle driver who terrorizes his turf — you are never, never in complete control. This has been the fatal mistake of dictators, despots, and your neighborhood bully.
Only God is completely sovereign. Only God is in complete control.
The Bible says, “He (God) controls the course of world events; He removes kings and sets up other kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the scholars.” (Daniel 2: 21)
No one except God stays in power forever. No one. Resurrect Hitler and ask him what he thinks.
So when we find ourselves in the middle of a crisis, we must see things from a spiritual perspective — not just a politically correct one.
When we feel powerless, angry, scared — we must remember that God is in control. He’s the only one Who has all the power to help us in any situation. He is all-powerful and all-present. No one can stop Him if He wants to help us.
Hence, we must self-evaluate — did I cause this crisis myself because I sinned? Because I lied, cheated, stole something? Did I hurt, disrespect or oppress someone? Did this happen to me because I was immoral or proud or arrogant, etc.?
If the answer is yes, then we must ask forgiveness from God and the people we sinned against. We must accept the consequences of our wrongdoing. We must resolve not to do it again. This is called repentance.
But if we’ve not done anything wrong and yet we’re in crisis because of people who are intentionally hurting us, or because of circumstances beyond our control — then the wisest thing to do is to ask for God’s help, and His wisdom.
He will always, always come through — in His own way, in His own time. We will also have the advantage of facing our crises with dignity and grace.
