On the average, people now live from 70-80 years. That means, if you’re 40 years old, you’re middle-aged.
Pause and ponder on that —with gravitas. It can make a huge difference in the trajectory of your life, your priorities, principles, and purposes.
When I was in highschool, we considered 50 years old “middle aged.” It seemed like eons away for a teenager. We considered our 30-year-old teachers ancient. That’s why we thought — “I’m certainly going to have more fun than her before I get that old!”
But while we made fun of teachers who looked stuffy and musty, we simply adored those who were beautiful, elegant, graceful. We tried to imitate them as best we could. They were one of our icons for success.
And we thought we had all the time in the world to “define ourselves.”
But, alas, life whizzed by so fast.
When we reached 25 to 35, we suddenly found ourselves struggling over careers and the competition. Stressing out because of marriage and money. Fumbling and failing in ways we never thought we could. We were caught in the rat race — scheming and maybe, succeeding to get to the top. We were bewildered. So this is life!
But in all the chaos and crises, many of us forgot that we actually have this crucial choice in life: to THRIVE…or SURVIVE. What we choose will determine whether we will become winners or losers.
Some people never recover from a marriage that collapsed, a failed career or business, an accident or illness that left them disabled. Many are consumed by unbridled greed, which led them to commit scams and crimes, sadistically preying on others.
We are shocked when we see some innocent faces from our youth become monsters; once-nice people who transformed into these mean-spirited, bitter, cruel people who make life hell for others. Or cheerful, bubbly, friends from college who now look so old, so tired, and so sad that they’re unrecognizable.
“What happened?!! How in the world did s/he turn out this way?!!”
Can you imagine if one of them used to be your seatmate? Or a friend who you went to the movies with? A neighbor who used to give you santol from their backyard? Your cousin whom you had riotous fun with?
That’s why we must have rock-solid principles to adhere to — so that we THRIVE… not just survive, in life.
Here are some principles to “thrive by.” I got them from wise people who made a positive impact in my life.
1. Live with integrity. Be honest, truthful. Don’t deceive, lie or cheat just to get what you want. Admit it when you’re wrong. Take responsibility. Don’t wait to be found out. Don’t make excuses, don’t blame others. Don’t join others who are dishonest.
2. Be fair — to others and yourself. Respect, defend the rights of others. Weigh things objectively. Investigate. Don’t just hear one side of the story.
3.; Build up, don’t destroy others — even those who are busily and cheerfully destroying you. The betrayers and destroyers will all be ruined one day. But “…those who refresh others will be refreshed themselves.” (Proverbs 11:25)
4. Be sincere. Authentic. Don’t fake kindness and love. Don’t fake an image or persona. Hypocrites ultimately self-destruct.
5. Always be aware of the consequences — of doing something, and of NOT doing something. Impress this on your children and subordinates through real-life scenarios, true stories.
6. Be genuinely interested in others. Don’t be obsessed with yourself.
7. Reciprocity is key. Don’t just be a taker. Return a favor. Give back. Know the love language of people who add value to your life — and repay them generously.
8. Ask for forgiveness ASAP, specifically and sincerely. Make up for it if you can.
9. Appreciate people for who they are, not just what they’ve done for you.
10. Be generous with praise that’s well-deserved. Secure people are not stingy with praise.
11. Don’t steal credit from others. Give credit where credit is due. It’s cheap and uncouth to steal credit.
12. Love extravagantly. You don’t know if you, or the people you love, will be around tomorrow.
13. Be humble no matter how successful you become. The “hubris of success” destroys the arrogant.
14. Put God first in your List of priorities. Obey Him. Whatever the cost, do the right thing, according to the Bible and His commands. If we do this, we will be richly, richly blessed.
“The Lord is like a sun and shield; the Lord gives us kindness and honor. He does not hold back anything that is good from those whose lives are innocent.” (Psalms 84:11)
