Balance

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Oxford defines “balance” as “an even distribution of weight allowing someone or something to remain upright and standing.” It’s also defined as “a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.”

From these definitions, we got the buzz phrase “work-life balance” which has been the subject of all sorts of derision and debates.

When I hear the word “balance,” I immediately think of a bicycle. It took me an embarrassingly long time to learn how to ride a bike. Training wheels certainly helped, but I knew that I couldn’t have those attached to my bike forever if I wanted to claim that I knew how to ride a bike.

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So when the training wheels were finally removed, I crashed and scraped my palms, skinned my elbows and knees — many times. Mercifully, the day came when I finally learned how to ride a bike on my own.

I called my style of biking “wobbly biking.” Then it somehow occurred to me — in a flash of undeserved insight — that if I lived the way I depended on training wheels for the longest time, I was surely headed for a life of failure and misery.

You see, maintaining balance in most things had always been a problem for me. My favorite excuse was, “because I’m an only child.” Most of us solo kids are given almost everything we want, within our parents’ financial reach, so we don’t learn how to balance between a “want” and a “need.” We don’t have to share with siblings.

We get more than the usual support and attention. In fact, we sometimes have paranoid parents who put us on training wheels forever.

Anyone who has been spoiled in life has very little or no sense of balance. They’ll keel over and crash the minute those training wheels are yanked away. That’s why, if you’re reading this and have young children, the time to teach them about balance is now.

Balance is when we, as parents, don’t give our children everything they want just because we can afford to. You can give them some of the toys they want. Some. Not all. Instead, teach them how to play with DIY toys too — let them make their own toys from things around the house. Makeshift tents, for example, made out of empty boxes and bedsheets, rather than just buying them fancy tents from a sports shop.

What we can make with our own hands and imagination, from odds and ends around us, can train our minds to think out of the box. To be not only resilient but also resourceful when we’re already adults who have to face real-life problems. When you’re already an adult, you cannot buy a box of easy solutions for the complex problems you’re going to face.

Spoiled kids are poorly equipped to survive and thrive. They’re trained to crash and whine when they’re in a crisis. No grit. No balance.

So early on, train your children to accept failure — but with dignity and sportsmanship. Don’t sedate, deceive, or coddle them with superlatives (“Oh, you’re so good! You’re so much better than them!!!” — even when you know that that’s not true). Tell them what they’re good at, and what they’re not good at.

“When it comes to character, work on your weaknesses. When it comes to talents or abilities, work on your strengths.”

I bought that poster when I was in highschool. It gave me a realistic view of life.

So teach your children how to win — with integrity and humility. Balance their failures with success. Celebrate their wins. Let them enjoy much-deserved praise. But don’t cushion their falls. Let them feel the raw pain of failure. However, don’t pepper their wounds with criticism either.

Let them work hard to succeed. But don’t push just because you’re obsessed with success. They don’t have to be champions. But they must learn the value of discipline and hard work — to attain the best that they can (which is what personal success is all about).

Balance is knowing that winning and losing are part of life. You can’t win and be number one in everything, all the time. But you just have to try your best — to see how far you can go!

I’ve seen this countless times: a middle management manager can be way more successful than an SVP if he has a good work-life balance: a happy marriage, warm relationships with his children, a respectable track record at work, a good reputation among his friends and peers. Those are things that no title, no paycheck can buy.

No one’s life is perfect because no one is perfect. But one who maintains balance in life will always be more successful in the long run. Time, energy and resources must be used and distributed in the right amounts, and in the right places.

Balance is all about keeping the right priorities:

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God – putting Him first by obeying Him in all things

Putting your husband or wife second only to God. If single, one’s parents should be your next priority to God.

Children. (If single, one’s siblings come next.)

Work, then ministry (service to God).

Extended family, friends, sports, hobbies, advocacies, etc.

If we follow these God-given priorities, we will succeed in life. It’s guaranteed.

“Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33)

When we don’t follow these God-given priorities, we will surely lose our balance. And this will surely create a host of problems, a series of crises — most of which can be avoided if we maintain our balance!

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