Chop suey


    LATERLY, there has been a barrage of flops and failures by the Duterte regime. For example, on the Metro Manila mass transportation side of things – and to be clear, “Metro Manila mass transportation” is a misnomer because it doesn’t exist – we’ve had three out of four train systems* suffering massive failures. Of these, the LRT2 line was forced to shut down service to its Anonas, Katipunan, and Santolan stations, effectively cutting off a large swath of commuters from the East from the train systems.

    On the foreign policy side of things – again, a misnomer – Duterte’s visit to Russia was marred by his innate inability to look like an absolute slob. So much so that the Russians were poking fun at him – and that should give you pause, because with all due respect it takes so much more to get a laugh out of Russians.

    And man, that Duterte entourage in Russia of celebrity has-beens claiming they paid for their trip. So I guess they chipped in for the cost of the chartered flight?

    That Adidas outlet must have had a gigantic sale or something.

    On the law enforcement side of things – and at this point I have to openly wonder how many of the things we used to take for granted are now misnomers – Baguio City Mayor Benjamin Magalong alleged that current PNP chief Oscar Albayalde was involved in the operations of “ninja cops” who recycled confiscated illegal drugs to sell back onto the streets. Which I must take umbrage to, as real ninjas do not confiscate drugs under lawful authority only to turn around and sell them on the cheap. Minato Namikaze did NOT die for this sort of sacrilege! For shame!

    Where was I? Right, cops recycling illegal drugs. Magalong, the former head of PNP’s Criminal Investigation and Detection Group (CIDG), made this allegation before a Senate inquiry that was supposed to be about the alleged sale of prisoner releases under the Good Conduct Time Allowance (GCTA) law that were done during the time of BuCor head Nicanor Faeldon, Duterte’s favorite appointee. As to how and why it went from that to this, only the head of the Comite de Absuelto Sen. Dick Gordon knows.

    Albayalde wants us all to “move on” from that issue, because of course no one wants to revisit a past that could result in significant jail time if proven guilty. For its part, Malacanang claims that Albayalde is “under investigation.” I suppose it will turn out the same as all of the homicides that the PNP has designated as “deaths under investigation,” that is to say that it will amount to absolutely nothing. Because if there’s anything we can count on this regime to do, it is to look after one of their own like a prized show dog.

    Speaking of moving on or the failure of doing so, the Presidential Electoral Tribunal (PET) has deferred, yet again, resolving the electoral protest of Bongbong Marcos against Vice President Leni Robredo. I wouldn’t presume to know why the PET won’t simply apply its own rules and dismiss Bongbong’s protest, since the recount conducted in the regions Bongbong chose in fact ADDED to Vice President Robredo’s vote count. If the PET is stalling for time – and why should it? – all it will do is cast doubt on its resolution of the protest once issued. In my humble opinion, it should just release its decision now, regardless of the result, so we can all move forward once and for all.

    With all the nuttiness going on, it is amazing that people have the energy to be worked up over what to call a handheld bidet (that IS a bidet, and you can’t tell me any different, go bugger off) or whether or not it’s okay for non-art aficionados to visit the upcoming Van Gogh Alive Exhibit in Manila (Spoiler Alert: yes, it is). Multitasking is such an enviable skill.

    *Because no one seems to remember that the PNR also runs within Metro Manila.