‘Later ko na lang nalaman, kung saan ka mahina, kung anuman ang mga depekto mo, balang araw iyon din ang magiging strength mo. Kasi ang strength, kapag nanggaling sa depekto, mas matibay. Dahil nakita mo ang ibaba, mas naiintindihan mo ang itaas. Dahil nanggaling ka sa dilim, mas natatanggap mo na ang buhay ay hindi puro liwanag – Ricky Lee’
By NOEL D. FERRER
Today is Ricky Lee’s birthday! National Artist. Multi-awarded writer. Co-creator – of films, television programs, plays, and anything artistic, you name it. Teacher. Mentor. Friend.
One puts it very well when we refer to Ricky as diverse and multi-disciplinal. Oh how ironic the concept of monogamy is; how boring, how corny.
Above all, how contrary to human nature and our capacity for love. Yes, we all saw it up close – Ricky’s love for films, books, and music said f*ck you to ranking or quantifying.
“Taxi Driver” or “Raging Bull”? Gong Li or Maggie Cheung? Nora or Vilma? Sharon or Maricel? Kapamilya or Kapuso or Kapatid? Tupelo Honey or Madame George? Eraserheads or Rivermaya? Ben & Ben or SB 19? Sex or chocolates? Why do you have to choose if you can love them all? Probably of different and varying intensities, but still loving as much as you can.
Such is Ricky Lee’s life: always full of love and generosity. Always laden with three important points, as he himself highlights in his messages and speeches.
First, that there is always a missing piece, a missing chair. And that is what you have to work hard for.
When he left Daet, Camarines Sur and boarded the bus going to Manila, he was with four other friends who, like him, had dreams but didn’t know what to do. Some of them worked in a factory, one became as a waiter at a pizza parlor. They rented an apartment that only had four chairs, one was always left standing. He looked at his friend who was standing, and Ricky promised himself that one day, the chairs will be complete and no one will be left standing.
Soon they had to part ways as they cannot cope with life in Manila. They had to dispose and sell what they had in their austere apartment, even the chairs. Most of them had to go back to Bicol. While the friends helped Ricky find a ka-probinsya to adopt him and have a place to stay.
So Ricky had to work all through his college days: he became a salesman, accounting clerk, tutor, student assistant, proofreader and whatever job came his way. He accepted that, in this life, the chairs may not be complete. The world doesn’t guarantee to give us all the things that we need. We shouldn’t be entitled. We have to be resourceful and have to work hard to get that missing chair there.
There were times Ricky would work the whole day in Del Monte, then go to school at the Lyceum and to save money, he would skip dinner, and after school, instead of riding a jeep, he would walk from Lyceum to Aranque where he lived with a Bicolano couple who adopted him. There was a time he fainted in Avenida. He lost consciousness for about five minutes then got up once again.
Yes, there were more instances when Ricky would fall and seemingly there was no hope, but that thought of the missing chair, the lacking chair, made him get up and carry on and continue his journey.
Second point, we need not be perfect. After graduation or in any instance or place whatsoever, we are judged, rated, evaluated, compared against standards, made to compete with peers even. People expect different things from us, some of them no longer reasonable. There will even be times when the world will make you feel like you don’t measure up or we are lacking. Just let them.
Keep working hard. Keep chasing your dreams.
It’s better to fail trying to make things work rather than not trying to achieve anything at all. Or even if you fail, don’t ever equate that to your self worth. There’s no need to feel bad about who you are, or how you measure up to others. You are never worthless. Just be yourself. Swim, soar and find your way to be happy. Just be out there. Experience the world. Don’t be afraid to fail. They are the best teachers. Just like a novel that is being revised as many times, that process is needed to make it shine better.
As a child, Ricky had inferiority complex. He lost his parents at a young age. He was sickly, forgetful and seemingly lacked direction.
He said, “May inferiority complex ako bata pa. Weird ang tingin nila sa akin. Lagi kong ikinukumpara ang sarili sa iba. Ba’t ang dami nilang nagagawa na hindi ko magawa? Ano ang kulang sa akin?
“Lumaki akong laging gano’n. Kaya ang ginawa ko. nagsikap ako. Nag-aral akong mabuti para maging first honor ako mula Grade 1 hanggang Fourth Year. Sa UP rin university scholar ako maski ‘di ako nakatapos. Nag-aral talaga akong mabuti para labanan ang inferiority complex ko.
“Later on ko na lang natutunan, na kung saan ka mahina, kung anuman ang mga depekto mo, balang araw iyon din ang magiging strength mo. Kasi ang strength, kapag nanggaling sa depekto, mas matibay. Dahil nakita mo ang ibaba, mas naiintindihan mo ang itaas. Dahil nanggaling ka sa dilim, mas natatanggap mo na ang buhay ay hindi puro liwanag.
“Kung nasaan man ako ngayon, kung anumang tagumpay ang meron ako ngayon, matatag ang kinatatayuan ko kasi nakatuntong ako sa isang bundok ng mga pagkakamali at mga pagkabigo.”
The third point – also Ricky’s message to graduating students – is to be involved. A life not spent for the service of others is like a withered vegetable or rotten fish that is of no value at all.
Give a part of yourself, if not whole, to others. Even just at times.
Go to the fields, to the woods, to streetchildren, to the home for the aged, to the children of war, to anywhere, and ask how you can help.
In Ricky Lee’s language, “Magkaroon ka ng boses. Ng opinyon. Mundo mo ito. ‘Di ka parang hanging nagdaan lang. Mag-iwan ka ng marka.”
One of the most colorful and most important episodes of Ricky’s life was when he became an activist during Martial Law. He left all his personal ambitions to serve the country. He was incarcerated for a year in Fort Bonifacio. He thought he would never fulfill his dreams anymore.
But in the end, he realized it was all worth it; because there is no better feeling than doing things beyond yourself, in the service of others, especially for the love of country.
Ricky is always pressed for answers to this: “Ba’t ka nagbibigay ng libreng workshops mula pa noong 1982?”
His reply? “Napakahirap at madalas ay napapabayaan ko ang mga personal kong projects tuwing nagpapa-workshop ako. Pero hindi lang ang mga workshopper ko ang natututo, natututo rin ako. Nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa kanila at sa paunti-unti nilang pag-unlad ay umuunlad din ako
“Naniniwala kasi ako na kapag nagbigay ka nang walang hinihintay na kapalit, ngingiti sa’yo ang mundo, ibabalik sa’yo ang ibinigay mo sa mga paraang hindi mo inaasahan.”
And always, Ricky has a grateful heart. He never fails to thank each one who became part of his journey.
That’s why today, we want to go out with him, celebrate, work hard to find the missing chairs. Learning from his words, we continue to explore, get involved, make mistakes, hug our loved ones, listen to somebody else’s heartbeat, join a rally, donate to a cause, support our friend’s dream, listen to the silence in the midst of chaos, persevere.
Continue to dream and make those dreams and other people’s dream a reality: this is Ricky’s legacy.
Thank you, dear Ricky Lee, for the most important lessons and truths that light our way to this day. We love you dearly! Happy birthday!
