A FEW days ago, I reconnected with a friend for a project I wanted to give him.
Actually, I was inquiring about a project I had given him some time back — the repair of an antique table — and I wanted to know how it was coming along.
He was surprised. “You mean they haven’t delivered it to you yet?” he asked by text. “Let me follow up.”
Actually, his response surprised me, the implication that he was unaware that the item had not been delivered to me. And then, shortly, I found out why.
He texted me that “Meron lang po akong pinagdadaanan,” which he later detailed to me as one of the most painful burdens a man has to face: his wife wanted out.
No wonder my friend seemed lost. Nothing can make even a grown man lose his way than being told by the woman he loves that she no longer loved him.
‘Those are the moments when the whole world comes crashing down around you and everything is devoid of joy and color and laughter and hope and it’s as if you’re dead in your body.’
I asked him to see me at my pied-a-terre near Greenbelt, my purpose being to provide him a distraction from a burden without equal. In a way, the ruse worked because we were able to discuss what I wanted to be done, and we even walked together to Greenbelt, to Ace Hardware, to check out some things I needed.
But back in the unit, the floodgates opened and he unburdened himself and I told him to feel free to do so and to not be embarrassed about it as I myself have had to wrestle with moments when I had been told I was no longer loved the way one must be loved to remain in a relationship.
Those are the moments when the whole world comes crashing down around you and everything is devoid of joy and color and laughter and hope and it’s as if you’re dead in your body. Or wish in fact you were dead.
How many times have I gone through what my friend now was going through? Once too many. Each time, I ended up doubting my self-worth, wanting to run away and hide. Each time, I felt like it was the worst ever. And maybe it was. But each time, scarred and all, I somehow bounced back.
Which was all I could tell my friend actually. That he too would bounce back. But yes, before he gets to that point, it was going to be tough. Heck, it was going to be hell. Because it’s darkest at midnight.
Be strong H. Find your worth. Find happiness and joy in what you do for clients like me. Find pride in what you create. Find value in the value you bring to others.
Yes, for one person you may no longer be good enough. And that sure hurt.
But you are more than that one person’s opinion of you.
And remember, the best revenge is to prove that person wrong.
