In general, encumbrances can be people, things, attitudes, traditions, policies, anything that gets in the way of doing things the right way, achieving our goals, or becoming the human beings we want to be.
One of the worst things to be in this life is to be an encumbrance – a burden, an impediment – to someone.
Tragically, some of us go through life totally unaware that we’re an encumbrance. Because we’re too engrossed with ourselves. Such is the lethal fate of selfish people. They bring untold misery to those around them – yet are totally clueless. Or worse, even gleeful that they’re causing others chronic exasperation, simmering resentment and hatred, or paralyzing trauma.
So what kind of people are painful, deplorable encumbrances to others? Well, these are some of the worst ones –
Those who are always, always financially dependent on you, even if they’re already old enough, fit & able enough, to support themselves.
Those who call you whenever they’re in trouble – expecting you to get them out of it, even if you’re not part of the problem.
Those who keep getting, keep dropping hints that they need help, that they need this or that – when they should’ve prepared for this eventuality, this rainy day, themselves.
Those who have a mega-negative outlook in life and are hypercritical of others.
Those who constantly praise themselves but won’t praise others.
Those who are lazy, complacent, won’t contribute much to a group effort – but have no qualms about enjoying the perks of Success.
Those who backstab, backbite, and destroy others just to get ahead.
Those who keep borrowing money even for predictable expenses – yet keep eating out, keep buying unnecessary things, traveling for pleasure while in debt, etc.
Those who call you only when they need something. Then when you’ve done them the favor, not even bothering to call to say thank you, or even send a gift as a token of thanks.
Those who use your connections – and pretend that they didn’t; then start hobnobbing with your friends as if they grew up together. Include social climbers under this category.
Those who invade your privacy by calling suddenly, without asking you first if it’s a good time to call. No GMRC.
Those who expect to be served hand-and-foot (maybe a spouse, a parent, an older sibling, a boss) – yet are rude, domineering, increasingly demanding and uncouth.
Those who expect you to foot the bill all the time: for a meal, an item for purchase, cab fare (in a foreign country yet), gratuities for services rendered, etc. In short, “mahilig sa libre.” And never, or hardly ever, returns the favor.
Those who constantly grab credit for what you’ve done, or what others have done.
Those who cunningly wait for others to succeed – then grab the money, the project, the business, etc. for themselves, for their own purposes.
Those who are control freaks and won’t allow others to grow, or gain more knowledge, more leverage and experience under their watch.
Those who get sick and expect you to take care of them – with no regard for your time, resources, effort, and personal plans. They just expect to be taken care of, with no preparations or initiative on their part not to be a burden to others.
Those who lead without compassion, without respect for the the people under them, with no regard for their feelings or opinions. Those who treat their subordinates as mere underlings or hirelings.
Let’s end this odious litany here lest we get too incensed. Horrifically, there are a lot more types who are such a pain to live/ work with – that to describe them as an “encumbrance” is a euphemism; it’s already being kind.
BUT… before we start thinking of people who are encumbrances in our lives – let’s do some self-reflection ourselves. Are we on this list? Or its expanded list?
Could it be that we are a Royal Pain in someone’s life? If, perchance, we realize that we are – then the first thing to do is to stop being such a pain, a thorn in the flesh, an encumbrance. Let’s stop exploiting the kindness, naí¯veté or helplessness of others. Let’s give back to those who we’ve taken advantage of for so long. Let’s be decent human beings for a change.
Then others might have nicer things to say about us. And better thoughts to remember us by.
