One late afternoon, my husband came home from a long meeting and burst into our room with a big smile. He made a magnificent announcement to me and our daughter: “Aha! I brought home some fried chicken!!!” (My goodness. It was one of our favorite fried chicken brands!) I was already salivating in gleeful anticipation…
But first, we talked briefly about how my husband’s meeting went because we knew it was a stressful one. After which we went straight to our dining table for the fried chicken. We were finally going to eat it!!!
Alas and alack (as fairy tales say when something really baaaaad and catastrophic happens), only a torn box was lying on the floor: EMPTY and forlorn. No more chicken. Not even a bone left!!! Oh my goodness. What a shock. What gut-wrenching loss and instant deprivation. A feeling that leaves you reeling in disbelief…and utter helplessness.
The culprit was nowhere in sight.
Our helper – who has been with us for 40 years and is predictably calm even in the worst crisis – was visibly distraught. She said that Yoko, our beagle, jumped up our dining table so fast, ran away so fast, and was probably devouring the fried chicken somewhere in the house!!!
My reaction? I was instantly on auto pilot. My baser instincts immediately surfaced. I was looking for someone to blame. It’s an ugly coping mechanism I have that usually kicks in when I’m very hungry, tired, sleepy, frustrated, disappointed or angry.
Thank goodness, I paused. That precious, priceless PAUSE – to regain my equanimity. That priceless PAUSE, done at the perfect time, can save our lives, reputation, and any semblance of a bright future ahead of us.
Miraculously, I collected my wits, and regrouped — with God. In a nanosecond, He showed me that there was absolutely no one to blame. It was nobody’s fault! This was a SURPRISE QUIZ from Him — to see for ourselves how were we going to respond to something that hit us, again, from left field. (And just for the record — I hate things that hit me from left field.)
That priceless pause saved the day for all of us.
I’m happy to say that we ALL passed the test. Instead of blaming someone, or getting crabby and rude, or throwing an ugly rant – we all just expressed our feelings in healthy ways that let off steam but didn’t hurt anyone!
Our helper, Tarsing, started furiously wiping the dining table. I kept walking around like a lunatic saying, “I’m so sad. I’m so sad. I’m so sad. I was so ready to eat that fried chicken.” My husband, on the other hand, immediately went to his indoor garden to de-stress, to repot his plants. And our beleaguered daughter kept saying, “Ohmygosh, Yoko.” Then maybe, just to avoid any imminent emotional outbursts, our two other helpers quickly ran down to our lower floor and looked for Yoko.
I prayed popcorn prayers: “Dear God, help! Don’t let Yoko choke on the chicken bones!”
Noticeably, there was peace and quiet in the whole house. Not eerie or sinister. In fact, it was surprisingly serene. Safe. No one ranted or blamed or scolded anyone. No one reacted shamefully. No one lost it. In short, we all let it slide…Truly a Teflon Moment.
Then came God’s coup de gras.
Some time later, my husband burst into our room again (where our daughter and I were busy doing something), and with this BIG smile on his face, he triumphantly announced: “I bought two fried chickens!!! Let’s eat!!!” We all screamed with high octane happiness!!! Hallelujah!!!
Oh. What. Joy.
We didn’t know that my husband had slipped out of the house to buy another batch of fried chicken!
Our driver had already gone home, but my husband still took the effort to go out and buy the fried chickens himself. (Dear God, thank you for such sweet husbands!)
However, this time, he made sure that those fried chickens were safe from all harm, far away from Yoko –he put them on the small dining table inside our masters bedroom. Where we ate in uninterrupted bliss. We savored every mouthful…and chatted happily as we devoured the fried chickens.
Just think. What if any of us lost our temper and blamed somebody?!! The whole afternoon till evening would’ve been a disaster.
But thank God, we all practiced self-control. We all responded with equanimity and grace. What a magnificent Teflon Moment.