A hospital for bishops

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‘The hospital for bishops I envision, therefore, will be a monument to the “no to mining” principles of the CBCP that they happily shout to the heavens.’

OVER the last few days, I’ve been dealing with friends who are undergoing health problems themselves or caring for loved ones who are. The health issues range from the “benign,” “malayo sa bituka” to those that cause sleepless nights. While I’m one or two persons removed from those dealing with the health problems, in many ways I also feel their pain and their anxiety. In part because I’ve had to deal with my loved ones facing life-threatening illnesses to having had to stare death in the face myself as a critical COVID-19 patient in March 2021.

Yesterday, I was at the UP FMAB accompanying a dear colleague who needed to consult with an oncologist. While waiting for the specialist to arrive I espied four nuns, walking in a row, heading towards the same doctors’ clinic where the oncologist was holding consultations.

At that point, a simple but naughty thought crossed my mind, one I’d be happy to work on and realize.

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The idea of a hospital for bishops was this thought, and I am sure it is a thought many members of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines will happily embrace.

And it’s not the swank Rufino J. Cardinal Santos Hospital in the middle of the hug-end Greenhills residential community in San Juan that I have in mind.

The hospital for bishops will be set not inside any of our urban areas, but in the hillsides of a rural community where the air is fresh and water is available from nearby streams. It will be a hospital without cement walls and will consist only of one floor – because to have two floors will require digging foundations into the earth and using stainless steel bars for foundation. In keeping with the anti-mining principles of the CBCP, using stainless steel bars, a product of mining, would be an abomination.

Most probably, there will also be no roof unless it’s simple thatched roofing tied down with twine. Yes, this means that the occupants will be exposed to the elements, whether this be the sun, rain, or wind, but surely the bishops would be happy to embrace these creations of God. Of course, if you get my drift, there will be no oxygen tanks or hospital beds, no metal bed pans or anything made out of metal, and yes, that includes needles for IV fluids as well as any and every medical machinery science has developed but which have to be built using the products of mining.

Surely no truly principled bishop will allow a needle to enter his veins.

For beds, the bishops will use the same straw bedding that Baby Jesus slept on when He was born in a manger. Hallelujah, yes? They shall be closer to Him that way. I’m sure they’ve been used to eating with their hands using banana leaves as plates, while maybe the Aetas of Zambales can help them cook using bamboo. For decades, they taught American servicemen based in Subic how to survive in the jungle.

If someone needs an operation, well, scalpels cannot be used. Maybe at least one of the bishops will have the gift of faith healing so who needs a scalpel?

Of course, the hospital will have a chapel but this will be sans the gold and silver and copper and the diamonds and rubies that many bishops have gotten to enjoy using in the course of their work.

Not to mention the Pajeros!

The hospital for bishops I envision, therefore, will be a monument to the “no to mining” principles of the CBCP that they happily shout to the heavens. As sure as the sun revolves around the Earth, I am dedicating myself to helping them live by their principles because I will be the last person on Earth to want to see them continue living a hypocritical life.

Amen?

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