When it comes to character, focus on your weaknesses. When it comes to talent and ability, focus on your strengths.”
That’s actually from a poster that I taped on my bedroom wall decades ago. It has given me focus and relief many times. One of my writing mentors in college told me that there are gifts or talents we wish we had — but we don’t. That, in itself, is not wrong. But he said we should get over it quickly.
Because in certain things, no amount of effort, training, or study will ever make us excel — like in mathematics, writing, public speaking, business, singing, acting, the creative arts, etc.
At best, we will be mediocre if we try to excel in things we’re not good at. Like a duck wanting to fly like an eagle.
Ergo, it’s much wiser to work on what we’re already good at! That way, we’ll avoid hair-pulling frustration, envy and jealousy, sabotaging others, taking credit for someone else’s work. And of course, all-consuming insecurity. More importantly, we avoid inflicting our mediocrity on others.
Which reminds me of a teacher I had in my teens. One day after class, she told me to stay.
Very matter-of-factly, she said that if I wanted to get an academic medal when I graduated two years hence, then I should start working for it now. She said there was only one major subject, one area award, that I had a good chance at getting. In all the other areas, she said that my bright classmates would beat me by miles.
I had 12 classmates in Honors Class who were effortlessly brilliant. I was not one of them.
Mercifully, hearing that didn’t crush me nor scar me for life. Why? Well, because I knew that already. At age 14, I was already at peace with the fact that I had mediocre intelligence compared to the top ten in our class.
However, to find out from my teacher (and I wasn’t her favorite) that I had a good chance of bagging an Area Award – well, that was a huge surprise! I was doing cartwheels in my mind.
Fast forward to two years from then – by God’s grace, I DID get that Area Award which my teacher prodded me to FOCUS on, and assiduously work for.
But there was this huge bonus which I and my classmates didn’t expect: my teachers gave me another Area Award for a sector that wasn’t given every year. It was given only if there was a student who met its requirements. And this unexpected medal was an offshoot of the first! Imagine that.
Life Lesson for me: when we work hard to excel at something we know we are good at, we might reap even MORE accomplishments as a result of excelling in that one thing!
So I went up the stage three times: to get my loyalty award medal (for studying in that school since kindergarten), and two Area Award medals. Praise God, indeed!
My parents, who never ever pushed me to get medals, were completely flabbergasted.
They didn’t see me as an achiever. But on graduation day, they were shocked to find out that a whole row for ten guests was reserved for them and our guests. Well. I didn’t invite anyone but my parents; and my high school boyfriend was somewhere in the auditorium.
I must say that my high school boyfriend was, for me, the biggest bonus of all… because unbeknownst to me, he was to become my husband – and is still my boyfriend now, of 54 years.
The moral of the story:
we must start with knowing what we’re good at. What our God-given gifts and abilities are.
We must work at it persistently, to accomplish the best that we can.
We must avoid being envious of the abilities of others. We must avoid unhealthy competition – let others shine, even if we don’t.
We must help and encourage others who aren’t as good as us in our areas of strength.
One last thing – if we maximize our strengths, abilities, talents, intellect, resources, connections and influence for God’s purposes – THAT is genuine excellence.
Excellence that’ll yield eternal rewards for us.
