January 20, 2018, 4:58 pm
Facebook iconTwitter iconYouTube iconGoogle+ icon


SUMMERTIME, when conferences, seminars, meeting, conventions, symposiums, convocations happen. Non-English speaking foreigners standing in front of microphones speaking in difficult-to-understand English.

Hereabouts, foreign scientists and experts are invited to be speakers; to tell us about their smart creations, discoveries. They choose to speak in English. No one has the nerve to tell them that their English is un-understandable. A Korean, French, Brazilian, German got to be an expert in his field (nuclear physics, aerodynamics, stem cell, whatever). Just because he is an expert in his field does not necessarily mean that he can speak understandable English. Non-English speaking foreigners with poor pronunciation in English should not be asked to speak in English at gatherings, conferences, seminars. A pain for the audience; more so for the working media.

The speaker’s vocabulary may be sufficient. But it is his bad pronunciation. It is his unfamiliarity with the way English letters and words are pronounced, accented. Accent is the correct vocal stress of words: I.e.: The correct pronunciation is de-PEN-da-ble, not DE-pen-da-ble, not de-pen-DA-ble.

To wit: sooRE. I AH-rreb let, meh irPLENS DI-lay. [Sorry. I arrived late, my airplane was delayed.] Not understandable, especially with a bad public speaker system. 

The solution? A translator. Please hire an efficient translator and have the speaker use his native tongue. American presidents use translators. They speak clearly in their native English language when addressing the Chinese Parliament or the Knesset. Through an efficient translator, the audience does not have to strain; learns in understandable English what the foreign speaker is saying. 


On the consensus that English be the official language of the European Union, the Germans objected saying that Deutsche is richer than English, and is the original caucasoid ethnic group of nordic family of languages.

This piece from cyberspace, reprinted below, got into the Inbox informing us that as part of the negotiations, the German Government insists that English spelling, in fact, had some room for improvement, and had proposed a 5-year phase-in plan to improve English, before it can be accepted as “Euro-English.”

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the jobs of sivil servise sitizens easy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favor of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. 

There will be publik klamour in the sekond year for the troublesome “ph” be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf and filosofy 20% shorter. 

By the 3th year people will be reseptive to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

In the 4rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the kourse ver more komplikated changes are koming.

Governments vil enkorag the removal of letters not pronounsed (dipthongs) vich hav thoroly ben a deterent to akurate speling. Ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou”.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and usles and shuld go away.

After ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis; evrivun vil find it ezi tu agre wit ech oza. Ze drem of a Unifed Urop vil finali kom tru.

Und on ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking Deutsche like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Zis mad me, zis hir yur kolumnis, smil, laf, so hapi! No mor nid zis kolumnis tu serch www.dictionary.com animor. Plis pas on diz gut newz to oza jornalis and pepl. 


No votes yet

Column of the Day

About noxious candles; man’s cunning

By DAHLI ASPILLERA | January 19,2018
‘Few things set the romantic atmosphere of the gentle flicker of a fragrant candle’s flame, be it on the dining table, in the bathroom, on the backyard table on a starry night.’

Opinion of the Day

Carpio’s terms for PH Rise research

By ELLEN TORDESILLAS | January 19, 2018
‘China should not be allowed to conduct marine scientific research in Philippine Rise which the United Nations Commission on the Law of the Sea has recognized as part of the Philippine extended continental shelf.’