January 19, 2018, 1:51 am
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1 Philippine Peso = 0.07263 UAE Dirham
1 Philippine Peso = 2.14992 Albanian Lek
1 Philippine Peso = 0.03521 Neth Antilles Guilder
1 Philippine Peso = 0.37318 Argentine Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 0.02474 Australian Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.03521 Aruba Florin
1 Philippine Peso = 0.03956 Barbados Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 1.63687 Bangladesh Taka
1 Philippine Peso = 0.03163 Bulgarian Lev
1 Philippine Peso = 0.00745 Bahraini Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 34.63172 Burundi Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01978 Bermuda Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.02627 Brunei Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.13568 Bolivian Boliviano
1 Philippine Peso = 0.06382 Brazilian Real
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01978 Bahamian Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 1.25445 Bhutan Ngultrum
1 Philippine Peso = 0.19324 Botswana Pula
1 Philippine Peso = 395.96518 Belarus Ruble
1 Philippine Peso = 0.03951 Belize Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.02456 Canadian Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01896 Swiss Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 11.96895 Chilean Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 0.12736 Chinese Yuan
1 Philippine Peso = 56.62579 Colombian Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 11.15506 Costa Rica Colon
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01978 Cuban Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 1.77275 Cape Verde Escudo
1 Philippine Peso = 0.40883 Czech Koruna
1 Philippine Peso = 3.49743 Djibouti Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 0.1197 Danish Krone
1 Philippine Peso = 0.95886 Dominican Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 2.24462 Algerian Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.25141 Estonian Kroon
1 Philippine Peso = 0.34978 Egyptian Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 0.53817 Ethiopian Birr
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01607 Euro
1 Philippine Peso = 0.03956 Fiji Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01433 Falkland Islands Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01431 British Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 0.08957 Ghanaian Cedi
1 Philippine Peso = 0.9371 Gambian Dalasi
1 Philippine Peso = 177.94699 Guinea Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 0.14509 Guatemala Quetzal
1 Philippine Peso = 4.07219 Guyana Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.15475 Hong Kong Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.46509 Honduras Lempira
1 Philippine Peso = 0.11922 Croatian Kuna
1 Philippine Peso = 1.25771 Haiti Gourde
1 Philippine Peso = 4.9644 Hungarian Forint
1 Philippine Peso = 263.35047 Indonesian Rupiah
1 Philippine Peso = 0.06775 Israeli Shekel
1 Philippine Peso = 1.266 Indian Rupee
1 Philippine Peso = 23.41772 Iraqi Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 723.08147 Iran Rial
1 Philippine Peso = 2.02255 Iceland Krona
1 Philippine Peso = 2.43928 Jamaican Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01399 Jordanian Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 2.18216 Japanese Yen
1 Philippine Peso = 2.03224 Kenyan Shilling
1 Philippine Peso = 1.37189 Kyrgyzstan Som
1 Philippine Peso = 79.26622 Cambodia Riel
1 Philippine Peso = 8.12896 Comoros Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 17.80063 North Korean Won
1 Philippine Peso = 21.02452 Korean Won
1 Philippine Peso = 0.00594 Kuwaiti Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01622 Cayman Islands Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 6.47765 Kazakhstan Tenge
1 Philippine Peso = 163.7856 Lao Kip
1 Philippine Peso = 29.88528 Lebanese Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 3.04292 Sri Lanka Rupee
1 Philippine Peso = 2.5093 Liberian Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.24248 Lesotho Loti
1 Philippine Peso = 0.0603 Lithuanian Lita
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01227 Latvian Lat
1 Philippine Peso = 0.02646 Libyan Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.18183 Moroccan Dirham
1 Philippine Peso = 0.33356 Moldovan Leu
1 Philippine Peso = 0.98418 Macedonian Denar
1 Philippine Peso = 26.46361 Myanmar Kyat
1 Philippine Peso = 47.8837 Mongolian Tugrik
1 Philippine Peso = 0.1593 Macau Pataca
1 Philippine Peso = 6.96203 Mauritania Ougulya
1 Philippine Peso = 0.64676 Mauritius Rupee
1 Philippine Peso = 0.30795 Maldives Rufiyaa
1 Philippine Peso = 14.11195 Malawi Kwacha
1 Philippine Peso = 0.37086 Mexican Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 0.07803 Malaysian Ringgit
1 Philippine Peso = 0.24161 Namibian Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 7.0807 Nigerian Naira
1 Philippine Peso = 0.6072 Nicaragua Cordoba
1 Philippine Peso = 0.15518 Norwegian Krone
1 Philippine Peso = 2.0265 Nepalese Rupee
1 Philippine Peso = 0.02715 New Zealand Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.0076 Omani Rial
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01978 Panama Balboa
1 Philippine Peso = 0.06341 Peruvian Nuevo Sol
1 Philippine Peso = 0.0624 Papua New Guinea Kina
1 Philippine Peso = 1 Philippine Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 2.18473 Pakistani Rupee
1 Philippine Peso = 0.06706 Polish Zloty
1 Philippine Peso = 110.52215 Paraguayan Guarani
1 Philippine Peso = 0.07202 Qatar Rial
1 Philippine Peso = 0.07488 Romanian New Leu
1 Philippine Peso = 1.11739 Russian Rouble
1 Philippine Peso = 16.52987 Rwanda Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 0.07417 Saudi Arabian Riyal
1 Philippine Peso = 0.15387 Solomon Islands Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.26503 Seychelles Rupee
1 Philippine Peso = 0.13841 Sudanese Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 0.15847 Swedish Krona
1 Philippine Peso = 0.02609 Singapore Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01433 St Helena Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 0.4392 Slovak Koruna
1 Philippine Peso = 150.90981 Sierra Leone Leone
1 Philippine Peso = 10.85839 Somali Shilling
1 Philippine Peso = 393.89636 Sao Tome Dobra
1 Philippine Peso = 0.17306 El Salvador Colon
1 Philippine Peso = 10.18552 Syrian Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 0.24175 Swaziland Lilageni
1 Philippine Peso = 0.63054 Thai Baht
1 Philippine Peso = 0.04769 Tunisian Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.04409 Tongan paʻanga
1 Philippine Peso = 0.07507 Turkish Lira
1 Philippine Peso = 0.13281 Trinidad Tobago Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.5839 Taiwan Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 44.34335 Tanzanian Shilling
1 Philippine Peso = 0.56547 Ukraine Hryvnia
1 Philippine Peso = 71.79588 Ugandan Shilling
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01978 United States Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.56468 Uruguayan New Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 160.81883 Uzbekistan Sum
1 Philippine Peso = 0.19729 Venezuelan Bolivar
1 Philippine Peso = 449.14952 Vietnam Dong
1 Philippine Peso = 2.0449 Vanuatu Vatu
1 Philippine Peso = 0.04966 Samoa Tala
1 Philippine Peso = 10.5352 CFA Franc (BEAC)
1 Philippine Peso = 0.0534 East Caribbean Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 10.5352 CFA Franc (BCEAO)
1 Philippine Peso = 1.90645 Pacific Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 4.94363 Yemen Riyal
1 Philippine Peso = 0.24183 South African Rand
1 Philippine Peso = 102.64043 Zambian Kwacha
1 Philippine Peso = 7.15783 Zimbabwe dollar

Grief on hold

My friend’s husband died late last year. So close to Christmas. Somehow I heard the news too late. When I asked about the details of the wake, I was told that my friend’s husband was cremated already. 

This kind of grief must be a different one. I cannot imagine how it feels to lose a loved one so close to a season of laughter and gift-giving, of joy and merriment, warm homecomings and nostalgic celebrations. 

I guess it’s like being stranded in the middle of a party that’s oblivious of your presence. You might be dancing but you’re really marooned  in a corner, not wanting to talk to anyone, much less celebrate. 

Christmas – no matter how superfluous our joy may be, and no matter whose company we spend it with – will always be a time for putting sadness on hold. Of putting grief on hold. If ever that’s at all possible. 

I tried writing about this during Christmas but I could not finish it. I guess it’s because it was so unnatural to write about grief and death during a time of merriment. When celebrations are simultaneously happening. And people are in a dither about which party to go to, what to wear, what presents to buy, what special dishes to cook. Death just doesn’t fit in. And yet, death happens all the time. But we never get used to it. 

My friend whose husband died wasn’t really close to me, but had always been kind to me. She belonged to a big family that was overrun with girls. All of them beautiful, bright, cheerful, prone to laughter and famous for dashing up and down the long flights of stairs in school, for whatever reason. I guess my friend, without meaning to, sort of adopted me as an extra sister since I was an only child who was prone to surliness. She always managed to make me snap out of it. 

She helped me find a date for our junior prom by volunteering her older brother. I quickly said yes because I didn’t want to be caught dead inviting this boy I really liked. You see, I didn’t want him to know that I liked him. 

My blind date, my friend’s older brother, was the perfect gentleman. He was intelligent, gracious, an interesting conversationalist. As it turned out, both of us didn’t like to dance. So we just talked. We took turns talking about the people we liked but didn’t want to let on that we did. We understood each other so well. 

By the end of the evening, I had convinced him to tell the girl he liked that he really liked her. But he wasn’t able to convince me to do the same thing with the boy I liked. Thank goodness. Because the following year, I met the boy I was going to marry. And he was my date at our senior prom and graduation ball. 

My friend, who lent me her brother as a blind date, made my prom a non-traumatic one. I will be forever  grateful to her for that. Because of her, I had no “prom date horror stories” to tell. To this day, I don’t know what brilliant maneuver she made to convince her older brother to go on a blind date with me. 

It’s difficult to think of a friend, one you’re especially fond of, going through a time of grief. The shared sorrow is, of course, not to be compared in its manner and intensity. But it’s a shared sorrow just the same. There are no words to describe it because it’s largely impalpable. Except maybe to say that it’s a certain sadness and helplessness that gets deeper as you think of how fine a friend it is who’s now in grief. And how you wish you could do something about it. But you can’t. 

There’s very little we can do, really, to alleviate sorrow. Except to try and be a comforting presence. And pray that the grief and pain will be subsumed in peace and comfort, somehow. 

Life is unpredictable. Its variables are constantly changing. The good things we absentmindedly enjoy can disappear in a split-second. And when even one good thing is gone, be it big or small, its loss brings sadness or grief, and we are oftentimes surprised by it. 

It could be a favorite restaurant that suddenly closed. Or a best friend who found a new best friend. Or one’s trusted dentist of twenty-five years suddenly dying of an aneurysm. Or a friend’s daughter brutally murdered. A wife leaving her husband for another man. A pet that dies of old age. All these things can suddenly come upon us, engulfing us like raging, unstoppable tidal waves that don’t give any warnings.

And we’re left with a life that still resembles the old one – but is vastly different in many, many places are now raw, overwhelming, unrecognizable. So strange. Yet vaguely familiar. 

I think any kind of loss brings us a life that’s strange but vaguely familiar. Yes. Grief happens all the time. But we just never get used to it.
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