May 23, 2018, 1:22 pm
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1 Philippine Peso = 0.07022 UAE Dirham
1 Philippine Peso = 2.04971 Albanian Lek
1 Philippine Peso = 0.03427 Neth Antilles Guilder
1 Philippine Peso = 0.46553 Argentine Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 0.02521 Australian Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.03403 Aruba Florin
1 Philippine Peso = 0.03824 Barbados Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 1.6174 Bangladesh Taka
1 Philippine Peso = 0.0318 Bulgarian Lev
1 Philippine Peso = 0.00722 Bahraini Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 33.47954 Burundi Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01912 Bermuda Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.02536 Brunei Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.13117 Bolivian Boliviano
1 Philippine Peso = 0.07028 Brazilian Real
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01912 Bahamian Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 1.30067 Bhutan Ngultrum
1 Philippine Peso = 0.19226 Botswana Pula
1 Philippine Peso = 382.79159 Belarus Ruble
1 Philippine Peso = 0.0382 Belize Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.02445 Canadian Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01907 Swiss Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 12.17151 Chilean Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 0.12202 Chinese Yuan
1 Philippine Peso = 54.9522 Colombian Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 10.70612 Costa Rica Colon
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01912 Cuban Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 1.78834 Cape Verde Escudo
1 Philippine Peso = 0.41644 Czech Koruna
1 Philippine Peso = 3.3891 Djibouti Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 0.12076 Danish Krone
1 Philippine Peso = 0.94646 Dominican Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 2.21398 Algerian Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.25367 Estonian Kroon
1 Philippine Peso = 0.34149 Egyptian Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 0.52008 Ethiopian Birr
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01621 Euro
1 Philippine Peso = 0.03927 Fiji Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01423 Falkland Islands Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01423 British Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 0.08859 Ghanaian Cedi
1 Philippine Peso = 0.89503 Gambian Dalasi
1 Philippine Peso = 172.06501 Guinea Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 0.14027 Guatemala Quetzal
1 Philippine Peso = 3.93289 Guyana Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.15004 Hong Kong Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.45428 Honduras Lempira
1 Philippine Peso = 0.11999 Croatian Kuna
1 Philippine Peso = 1.19751 Haiti Gourde
1 Philippine Peso = 5.1499 Hungarian Forint
1 Philippine Peso = 271.08987 Indonesian Rupiah
1 Philippine Peso = 0.06827 Israeli Shekel
1 Philippine Peso = 1.30228 Indian Rupee
1 Philippine Peso = 22.63862 Iraqi Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 804.0153 Iran Rial
1 Philippine Peso = 1.99809 Iceland Krona
1 Philippine Peso = 2.38145 Jamaican Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.0135 Jordanian Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 2.12293 Japanese Yen
1 Philippine Peso = 1.91587 Kenyan Shilling
1 Philippine Peso = 1.30863 Kyrgyzstan Som
1 Philippine Peso = 77.2065 Cambodia Riel
1 Philippine Peso = 7.91109 Comoros Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 17.20841 North Korean Won
1 Philippine Peso = 20.57725 Korean Won
1 Philippine Peso = 0.00577 Kuwaiti Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01568 Cayman Islands Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 6.29369 Kazakhstan Tenge
1 Philippine Peso = 159.08222 Lao Kip
1 Philippine Peso = 28.77629 Lebanese Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 3.0153 Sri Lanka Rupee
1 Philippine Peso = 2.55793 Liberian Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.24207 Lesotho Loti
1 Philippine Peso = 0.05829 Lithuanian Lita
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01187 Latvian Lat
1 Philippine Peso = 0.02595 Libyan Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.18017 Moroccan Dirham
1 Philippine Peso = 0.31807 Moldovan Leu
1 Philippine Peso = 0.99293 Macedonian Denar
1 Philippine Peso = 25.85086 Myanmar Kyat
1 Philippine Peso = 45.83174 Mongolian Tugrik
1 Philippine Peso = 0.15455 Macau Pataca
1 Philippine Peso = 6.76864 Mauritania Ougulya
1 Philippine Peso = 0.65679 Mauritius Rupee
1 Philippine Peso = 0.29771 Maldives Rufiyaa
1 Philippine Peso = 13.64149 Malawi Kwacha
1 Philippine Peso = 0.37878 Mexican Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 0.07606 Malaysian Ringgit
1 Philippine Peso = 0.24208 Namibian Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 6.88337 Nigerian Naira
1 Philippine Peso = 0.59598 Nicaragua Cordoba
1 Philippine Peso = 0.15388 Norwegian Krone
1 Philippine Peso = 2.08185 Nepalese Rupee
1 Philippine Peso = 0.02752 New Zealand Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.00735 Omani Rial
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01912 Panama Balboa
1 Philippine Peso = 0.0627 Peruvian Nuevo Sol
1 Philippine Peso = 0.06117 Papua New Guinea Kina
1 Philippine Peso = 1 Philippine Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 2.20841 Pakistani Rupee
1 Philippine Peso = 0.06955 Polish Zloty
1 Philippine Peso = 107.60994 Paraguayan Guarani
1 Philippine Peso = 0.06959 Qatar Rial
1 Philippine Peso = 0.07495 Romanian New Leu
1 Philippine Peso = 1.17737 Russian Rouble
1 Philippine Peso = 16.18375 Rwanda Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 0.0717 Saudi Arabian Riyal
1 Philippine Peso = 0.15039 Solomon Islands Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.26023 Seychelles Rupee
1 Philippine Peso = 0.34331 Sudanese Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 0.16581 Swedish Krona
1 Philippine Peso = 0.02562 Singapore Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01424 St Helena Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 0.42459 Slovak Koruna
1 Philippine Peso = 149.13958 Sierra Leone Leone
1 Philippine Peso = 10.7457 Somali Shilling
1 Philippine Peso = 397.36138 Sao Tome Dobra
1 Philippine Peso = 0.1673 El Salvador Colon
1 Philippine Peso = 9.84665 Syrian Pound
1 Philippine Peso = 0.24215 Swaziland Lilageni
1 Philippine Peso = 0.61434 Thai Baht
1 Philippine Peso = 0.04906 Tunisian Dinar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.04426 Tongan paʻanga
1 Philippine Peso = 0.08746 Turkish Lira
1 Philippine Peso = 0.12714 Trinidad Tobago Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.57119 Taiwan Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 43.51816 Tanzanian Shilling
1 Philippine Peso = 0.49847 Ukraine Hryvnia
1 Philippine Peso = 71.12811 Ugandan Shilling
1 Philippine Peso = 0.01912 United States Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 0.59981 Uruguayan New Peso
1 Philippine Peso = 152.58126 Uzbekistan Sum
1 Philippine Peso = 1501.96941 Venezuelan Bolivar
1 Philippine Peso = 435.35373 Vietnam Dong
1 Philippine Peso = 2.08088 Vanuatu Vatu
1 Philippine Peso = 0.0494 Samoa Tala
1 Philippine Peso = 10.62849 CFA Franc (BEAC)
1 Philippine Peso = 0.05163 East Caribbean Dollar
1 Philippine Peso = 10.62849 CFA Franc (BCEAO)
1 Philippine Peso = 1.92218 Pacific Franc
1 Philippine Peso = 4.7782 Yemen Riyal
1 Philippine Peso = 0.24216 South African Rand
1 Philippine Peso = 99.22562 Zambian Kwacha
1 Philippine Peso = 6.91969 Zimbabwe dollar

Grief on hold

My friend’s husband died late last year. So close to Christmas. Somehow I heard the news too late. When I asked about the details of the wake, I was told that my friend’s husband was cremated already. 

This kind of grief must be a different one. I cannot imagine how it feels to lose a loved one so close to a season of laughter and gift-giving, of joy and merriment, warm homecomings and nostalgic celebrations. 

I guess it’s like being stranded in the middle of a party that’s oblivious of your presence. You might be dancing but you’re really marooned  in a corner, not wanting to talk to anyone, much less celebrate. 

Christmas – no matter how superfluous our joy may be, and no matter whose company we spend it with – will always be a time for putting sadness on hold. Of putting grief on hold. If ever that’s at all possible. 

I tried writing about this during Christmas but I could not finish it. I guess it’s because it was so unnatural to write about grief and death during a time of merriment. When celebrations are simultaneously happening. And people are in a dither about which party to go to, what to wear, what presents to buy, what special dishes to cook. Death just doesn’t fit in. And yet, death happens all the time. But we never get used to it. 

My friend whose husband died wasn’t really close to me, but had always been kind to me. She belonged to a big family that was overrun with girls. All of them beautiful, bright, cheerful, prone to laughter and famous for dashing up and down the long flights of stairs in school, for whatever reason. I guess my friend, without meaning to, sort of adopted me as an extra sister since I was an only child who was prone to surliness. She always managed to make me snap out of it. 

She helped me find a date for our junior prom by volunteering her older brother. I quickly said yes because I didn’t want to be caught dead inviting this boy I really liked. You see, I didn’t want him to know that I liked him. 

My blind date, my friend’s older brother, was the perfect gentleman. He was intelligent, gracious, an interesting conversationalist. As it turned out, both of us didn’t like to dance. So we just talked. We took turns talking about the people we liked but didn’t want to let on that we did. We understood each other so well. 

By the end of the evening, I had convinced him to tell the girl he liked that he really liked her. But he wasn’t able to convince me to do the same thing with the boy I liked. Thank goodness. Because the following year, I met the boy I was going to marry. And he was my date at our senior prom and graduation ball. 

My friend, who lent me her brother as a blind date, made my prom a non-traumatic one. I will be forever  grateful to her for that. Because of her, I had no “prom date horror stories” to tell. To this day, I don’t know what brilliant maneuver she made to convince her older brother to go on a blind date with me. 

It’s difficult to think of a friend, one you’re especially fond of, going through a time of grief. The shared sorrow is, of course, not to be compared in its manner and intensity. But it’s a shared sorrow just the same. There are no words to describe it because it’s largely impalpable. Except maybe to say that it’s a certain sadness and helplessness that gets deeper as you think of how fine a friend it is who’s now in grief. And how you wish you could do something about it. But you can’t. 

There’s very little we can do, really, to alleviate sorrow. Except to try and be a comforting presence. And pray that the grief and pain will be subsumed in peace and comfort, somehow. 

Life is unpredictable. Its variables are constantly changing. The good things we absentmindedly enjoy can disappear in a split-second. And when even one good thing is gone, be it big or small, its loss brings sadness or grief, and we are oftentimes surprised by it. 

It could be a favorite restaurant that suddenly closed. Or a best friend who found a new best friend. Or one’s trusted dentist of twenty-five years suddenly dying of an aneurysm. Or a friend’s daughter brutally murdered. A wife leaving her husband for another man. A pet that dies of old age. All these things can suddenly come upon us, engulfing us like raging, unstoppable tidal waves that don’t give any warnings.

And we’re left with a life that still resembles the old one – but is vastly different in many, many places are now raw, overwhelming, unrecognizable. So strange. Yet vaguely familiar. 

I think any kind of loss brings us a life that’s strange but vaguely familiar. Yes. Grief happens all the time. But we just never get used to it.
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